This Christian Life

Inadequate

Today, Lord, I am inadequate.

Or humble, however you see it.

But that’s part of the point—I don’t know what to think.

Today, I don’t have the answers. I am tired of fighting. Tired of having to think about everything I do because I’m afraid I might offend someone. I’m just plain tired of having to do the right thing every time. I’m not going to end this entry with a point full of hope. I just need to put it down and get it out.

God of my past, be the God of my future. Help me to take the next step. Forgive me for lustful thoughts. Help me to see what it means for a middle-aged, American male, who lives 2000 years after your son was on earth, to know what it means to live like he’s my Rabbi.

I want to be more like him, but I feel inadequte. I feel like I get emotional over things that shouldn’t be hard things to deal with. I feel like I can’t have “fellowship” with people in your church much less teach them to follow you more closely.

That’s it.