To Know or Not to Know

September 14, 2003

Category: My Life

My wife and I are having another baby. When our first child was born, we decided not to find out what it was because we loved the romantic idea of finding out when the baby was born. I’m here to testify that it was a truly unforgettable experience that I will cherish until the day I die. The moment our beautiful daughter was born was packed full with wonder, excitement, and of course surprise.

When we found out we were pregnant again, we agreed that we didn’t want to know the sex for similar reasons. However, I think I was the one driving that idea more than my wife was. The routine 20-week ultrasound went by and we kept our promise to each other not to find out. But, a few weeks ago my wife was told by the doctor to go in and have another ultrasound done to confirm the due date. This made her excited because she had since changed her mind and was regretting the decision to not find out. I wasn’t feeling the best about that decision, but it happened anyway… we found out. Right there in the middle of the ultrasound, the technician (after getting permission) located the you-know-what, and wow, was it ever obvious.

I have to catch myself not getting down about knowing now instead of later, but let me tell you, I sure am excited now that I know!

What way would you rather have it? Knowing, or not knowing?

Posted by pablohart on September 14, 2003 10:59 PM

Comments

for our first, we found out in the ultrasound, pretty much deciding spur of the moment. we told people, but kept any name choices to ourselves. our son just turned eight yesterday :). when we were preggo with our little girl, we found out again, but didn't tell anyone else. there hadn't been a girl in the family in a few generations - and we enjoyed the surprise/secret aspect of that. it was good for us to know - or she would've been dressed in blue and denim for months before getting any girlie clothes. since we knew, we had a ready stash.

Posted by rick at September 14, 2003 11:16 PM

thanks, rick for your comments. honestly, one thing i struggle with is whether or not finding out is the best way to go. i mean, as with some other new technology, sometimes i have a hard time adjusting to the moral consequences. the other side of the coin is that i'm an early adopter of technology in some ways...

more than anything, i think i'm a purist. i like things the way they were meant to be. for instance, when we bought our house (built in the late 1800's) some of the doornobs were painted over. these are the really cool doornobs from the middle of the 19th century. i think they should be unpainted--in their pure form. the same goes for finding out what the sex of our baby is. NOT finding out is the more pure way to do it. there's just something so natural about it. technology like ultrasounds allows us to cheat.

man, sometimes i just think i'm screwed up--can't decide where i should be!

Posted by pablohart at September 15, 2003 10:02 AM

We wanted to know with all three of ours. One problem, the ultrasound tech said our first was a boy but she was most definitely not. Talk about surprises on the delivery date...

The reason I always want to know is because I can't stand the thought of the doctor and/or ultrasound tech knowing while I don't know. It's just not right. :-) We always told people if we were having a boy or a girl but never gave out the name.

Posted by John at September 16, 2003 4:22 PM

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