I Want to Go Deeper

February 22, 2004

Category: Church

Today in church I was sitting there thinking about how we—the members—treat each other. It’s been something that’s bothered me for a while—just how “surfacy” we tend to be around each other. Sometimes, I catch myself sort of half looking away when I’m approaching someone I don’t like very much, or someone that I think I don’t like. In fact, we all tend to do that, I’ve noticed. We walk through the halls with our heads in the middle, ready to move our eyes up or down depending on how we feel about the other person we’re approaching. Almost as if to say, “I don’t want to get to know you TOO much, cause that would be too much work.”

Yeah, yeah, so there are always the close people in your life—the people in your sphere of influece that no matter what you or they say or do, your gonna pretty much be friends. But I’m talking about all the other people right now.

If all I had to go on was the fuel I get from my relationships at church, I’d be done for. Many of my needs would go unmet and I think I’d walk around fearful and feeling guilty most of the time.

I want to go deeper. I want to break past that invisible layer of untrust that seems to cover our church relationships. I believe that we’ll be able to do so much more to build the kingdom if we all broke that barrier.

Do you feel the same?

Posted by pablohart on February 22, 2004 03:40 PM

Comments

I think you've raised a really important question about what church is supposed to be, without knowing your raised it.

you said that you'd be done for if the church you go to was your only source of fuel. Maybe the people who are good friends no matter what you do or say are the church. You speak into each other's lives and for better or worse, stick together.

Does it make sense to go to a place once a week where it's awkard and weird to get to know people because you know you won't see them till next week?

Posted by Aaron at February 23, 2004 10:19 AM

God sometimes calls us to the depths with him, but it seems as though many people just like floating around on the surface, not getting their hands too dirty. Very interesting Post.

Posted by Reid at February 23, 2004 12:06 PM

In the book "Connecting" (sorry I can't recall the author and can't locate my copy), he says that often at church we sit in a circle with our chairs facing each other, but our souls turned away. He then goes on to describe a church where people would take the risk to reach out, be vulnerable, and help those in need at the deepest level of soul connection. I agree with you, this doesn't happen nearly often enough. I guess it begs the question to ourselves, "What can I do this week to turn my soul toward someone?"

Posted by Kristen at February 23, 2004 2:47 PM

by the way, i found the book mentioned by Kristen above... it's by Larry Crabb, entitled simply Connecting.

Posted by pablohart at February 24, 2004 1:11 PM

Maybe the people who are good friends no matter what you do or say are the church. You speak into each other's lives and for better or worse, stick together.

Aaron, you are so right on. My wife and I have been talking about this for years with two other couples, who, for us, are [the] church. It's the '...no matter what...' and the '...speak [ing] into each other's lives' and the '...for better or worse, stick [ing] together...' that has made the difference. We have consciously -- though not always willingly -- gone deep.

And Kris, you also have hit it right on with these thoughts from the book. My experience echoes this, in that it's all about the '...turn [ing] my soul toward...', the '... reaching...', the '...risk [ing]...' and the '... be [ing] vulnerable...', and what that can produce in relationships. In other words, the real ministry grows out of the open- or broken-ness.

Part of the problem, however (as I've had to learn) is fear. I might not like what I see when I expose my own vulnerabilities. But, in the end, these people have loved me anyway.

Seems like there's something about the 'love-fear' thing in the Word.

dad

Posted by dad at February 24, 2004 9:42 PM

OK, I have to say this...
I more than understand where you are coming from pLink, but am compelled to make a challenge.
How far are YOU trying to go with other members of your church? If you are admittedly "sort of half looking away", how many times does this happen before you are unable to "go deeper" as you say.
In today's Adult Ed class we talked about two long time congregants who do not really know each other, mostly because at this point it would just be down right embarrassing to say that they don't really know each other. WHAT A SHAME!!!
But here you are posting about wanting to go deeper. So, here's my challenge...
Make the first move towards the depth you seek.

Posted by Snoopmama at February 29, 2004 9:58 PM

snoopmama, i feel like i've been trying for years. i feel like my heart has been open, waiting for other people to open up too. this post is a cry for help... i'm drowning.

in a previous christian community i was part of, there was energy--more than we could use up in our little group. so many good things happened that we grew large, were tight spiritually with one another and had few reasons to doubt each other... even though we were different. this is what i want. i want so much to have that overflowing feeling again.

isn't it the nature of being human that we tend to lose our good intentions over time in lieu of hard feelings, miscommunication and misunderstandings?

someone help us move on to the next step.

Posted by pablohart at March 3, 2004 9:21 AM

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