The Voice of One

May 02, 2004

Category: Church

It befuddles me how one person—or a small group of people—in an organization such as a church can have such power and control over how things are done. There is one person at our church that becomes very upset with seemingly insignificant things.

Every time I move the communion table back a few inches so that there will be space in front of it for people to stand, I think about him. If I move an object on stage before a service starts, I’m afraid he will complain or take notice that it’s not on center or not in it’s appropriate position. If the music stands don’t get pushed down during the sermon, I wonder if he’ll notice and grumble. If we play too many songs in a row, or repeat a praise chorus, he doesn’t like it.

As an artist who takes care that my designs are aligned to the pixel, I can understand how someone could be upset by not feeling in control when it is commonly known that they are in charge of the way things look. But there comes a point where it goes too far.

Why are things like that so important? Where’s the freedom of life? Where’s the freshness? Where’s the grace? Where is the hope?

Posted by pablohart on May 02, 2004 01:50 PM

Comments

ahhh yes, the illusion of being in control. i wonder if people who are like the person you are describing are as hard on themselves as they are on everyone and everything around them. my money's on yes. i know for a fact that one reason you are an amazing designer is because you expect more out of yourself than anybody else (including your boss, clients, wife, family, friends...) you push yourself to the limits. NOT a bad thing if you can turn it off. i believe you get to a place that you can and do. sounds like this guy can't, or won't. his dissatisfaction does not come from without but from within. he grumbles because he sees imperfection in himself, he complains because he is not satisfied with HIS life. think i'm wrong? take anyone that is happy with who they are and their life. do they complain a lot? do they grumble when something isn't just so?

he is the one in need of grace, mercy and love. he needs to be shown what it's like to have to be perfect and that it's ok. he definitely needs freedom...

by the way, i miss you pablo....

Posted by chris at May 2, 2004 9:08 PM

It seems one of the questions and challenges here is to find what the hell happened to this guy that he feels so out of control that he is always grasping for it. I would guess that he grew up in situations where things were always out of control.

But since the guy is such a pain in the ass, you are left saying to God, "forget this asshole. I can't deal with him."

And that's where the fun begins and grace gets messy.

Sweet. It seems like God may have something in mind for you and this person at your church.

Posted by Aaron B. Smith at May 3, 2004 9:37 AM

yeah, thanks aaron for the reminder. i think God is working out something between us too. he's getting up there in years and perhaps he has some fear about losing control of what he has designed, built, sweated over, and loved for so many years. not that i want to take over, in fact i can't because of other commitments. but, just the way life goes... things change, people get old, new people are raised up. you know.

it may be years before all this is worked out. i just pray i have the presence of mind to stay in good graces and see this thing from the right perspective.

Posted by pablohart at May 3, 2004 9:43 AM

p.s.: i miss you too, chris.

Posted by pablohart at May 3, 2004 9:44 AM

I think all of you are right and wrong about this guy.
He has spent many years working on what /good/ and /right/ for the liturgy and worhip services for our church. And to be very honest, he is a pain in the a-- to deal with directly. But to be even more honest, while many people spend a lot of time lamenting over the amount of control he has over "everything" regarding worship, not one person has truly desired to deal with ALL that goes into what he does. Typically, you have someone who is pissed at him because they cannot get their way with one component of worship (music, flowers, banners, etc.). Has anyone said to this person that his work is truly valued and would like to "mentor" under him to learn all of the pieces that go into /creating/ a worship space?

As I has asked around - NO, no one has.
Personally, I can't stand the guy...but I completely understand where he is coming from.
In his mind, if he doesn't do it, will it really get done?

Posted by Clearview at May 3, 2004 1:59 PM

This is the kind of approach I should take to this, I think:

Don't repay evil for evil. Don't retaliate when people say unkind things about you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God wants you to do, and he will bless you for it.

1 Peter 3:9

Posted by pablohart at May 5, 2004 9:13 AM

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