From the Mouths of Babes

January 18, 2005

Category: Spirituality

As I was tucking my 4-year old daughter in to bed last night, we were going through our normal routine of reading a book, turning out the light, singing, and praying. When we pray, I usually recite a somewhat habitual prayer that covers the basics and hopefully teaches her how to pray.

As it is with 4 year olds who are learning all about the ins and outs of life, she doesn’t always want to do everything we want her to do. It’s our job as parents to keep her in the center of the flow by gently steering her in the right direction every now and then.

Last night when we got done with the reading and turning out the lights part, she stated that she didn’t want to sing. I said that was fine and moved on to the praying part of our nightly routine. I said, “Okay, fold your hands and let’s pray.”

Then, out of pure innocence and curiosity, she asked, “Dad, why do we have to pray every night?”

Wow. My mind began to race for a sensible answer that a 4 year old could understand. Out of compulsion and love I felt the intense need to answer her so that she would not be left in the dark about prayer! I immediately said, “Because at the end of the day we need to talk to God and tell him about our day and ask him to be with us through the night and ask him to forgive us for our sins.” But I quickly realized that isn’t really a reason, and added, “We need to pray because the Bible tells us to,” (thinking of 1 Thessalonians 5:17).

Pretty interesting in light of my last post, isn’t it?

Posted by pablohart on January 18, 2005 09:21 AM

Comments

Have you gotten this one yet: "when I talk to Jesus, why don't I hear him talk back?"

Posted by John at January 18, 2005 10:24 AM

Not yet, John.

I'm slowly realizing the importance of being able to answer these questions responsibly!

Posted by pablohart at January 18, 2005 11:26 AM

Hey cuz-
I love the last comment you made in your answer. One of the best words of counsel I received from an older woman regarding parenting was when I was in the throws of single parenting. The girls were 2, 5, 7 and going through their own "why's". I have learned that at a young age a child is eager to accept God as the ultimate authority, even over why mom and dad may make a decision. "We aren't able to go to the zoo today because God wants me to be responsible and go to work." "I'm making this decision because I believe this is what God wants me to do. This is what His word says....how 'bout we read it together?" There will come a time when children will not always accept "because God says so", and we need to instill this concept early in them while we are able.
Accepting mine and Garland's authority is not that easy, now that they're 11, 14, 16... But, in God's mercy, they do still see God as the ultimate authority in their lives. Have you thought of memorizing I Thes. 5:17 with her as a follow-up? She's at a great age to be memorizing and discovering what God says herself! Laura and I spent one summer memorizing verses about what God says about anger in Proverbs when she was dealing with that issue. Even now, 4 years later, I can start a verse when she's about to blow and she'll finish it...another great tool I used with the girls at the pre-school age to memorize scripture was the Steve Green "hide 'em in your heart" series of tapes--in the car or in the bathtub. they're a great way to "sing scripture" for that age.

Posted by cuz at January 19, 2005 8:26 AM

Not to be disagreeable, but, I have learned in raising my chilren, now 19, 17, and 14 that before they will ever trust the love and authority of an unseen God, they must first trust the love and authority of a parent. At the tender age of 4, however, it is far more about love than authority. Parents are the incarnation of God to children and this relationship impacts their ability to tranfer trust that God is 'good and for them' in their later years.

I believe that your daughter is asking a simple concrete question and looking for you to lead her in the 'whys' of life...hang in there and just be you...

When my oldest daughter, Kate, was four, she asked me more "why" questions than I could ever answer, and I learned to say, "I don't know, or what do you think?" One day at age 7, she asked me about beleiving in an unseen God, and I relayed to her, that we see miracles everyday as signs of God's existence...I even named a few (flowers, babies, butterflies)...she responded that people who don't beleive in God, see them too, so what was special about being a believer...(good question, clever girl) (later that evening, when I told my husband about her coomment, he responded with utter honesty saying that he was glad that I was the one who put her to bed;)

All this to say, I think we forget the trust that our children have in us, their desire to be safe and loved and answered...to know that even when we don't have answers, we will stand in the gap for them.

Yesterday, Kate was home from college and we went to see the movie Hotel Rwanda. She had many "why" questions for me...she answered or commented on some of my "why" questions...we both voiced our painful shame of "why we did nothing..." It was a good and difficult conversation, born from years of allowing and entering the "whys." Children want relationship, far more than they want answers.

just a few thoughts.
Shalom,
SAM

Posted by SAM at February 6, 2005 3:50 PM

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